So Much for Time Off
by Pacacapa
Summary: When Parker and Hardison insist on accompanying Eliot on a personal job, they manage to get themselves in deep trouble and he's too far away to help. Hardison grifts, Parker plays hacker/hitter, and Eliot masterminds. Mid-season 3. No spoilers, but it means a lot more if you have seen the season 3 finale. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

Title: So Much For Time Off

Author: Pacacapa

Rating: PG - I couldn't bring myself to leave out or butcher Eliot's favorite line...

Genre: Adventure, action, family

Length: ~9,300 words

Summary: When Parker and Hardison insist on accompanying Eliot on a personal job, they manage to get themselves in deep trouble and he's too far away to help. Hardison grifts, Parker plays hitter/hacker, and Eliot masterminds. Mid-season-3. No spoilers, but means a lot more if you've seen the season 3 finale.

* * *

Eliot hoisted his backpack over his shoulder and set out at a brisk but not too fast pace toward the front door. It was about time he had some time off, and he knew exactly how he was going to spend it: more work. Or, more specifically, the work he _needed_ to do but couldn't, thanks to Nate's constant oversight and the ban on outside jobs. Not that he cared all that much what Nate said, and he had definitely done a few more jobs than Nate knew about, but this one in particular would take a bit longer than he usually had.

And, more than any other job, _this_ one needed to stay secret. He wasn't ready to let the team into his past, into the person he had been _before._ They were criminals, but they were just thieves. They never hurt anyone. And he…. He would never be clean of the things he had done.

This side job was important to keeping his past buried, and making sure it never came to haunt the team. Which was why he was trying to leave as inconspicuously as possible.

Eliot smiled at the bartender as he made his way out of McRory's. The door was just ahead, and then he would be on his bike and on well on his way out of town.

"…And anyway, if you never try it, how are you gonna know whether it's any good?"

Eliot's heart sank. No, no, no, _no._ This was _not_ happening.

"I'm pretty sure I don't have to try 'Spy Kids' to know they don't know anything about what they're doing."

"Parker, movies don't always have to be accurate to be…" Hardison trailed off as he and Parker came into view. Eliot felt his shoulders slump involuntarily. He knew what was coming. Hardison cocked his head at him. "Hey, man, where ya goin'?"

Eliot growled, trying to warn Hardison off, but he had a feeling this wasn't just going to go away. "Nowhere you're needed." He shoved by the hacker but found his path blocked by Parker.

"You're packed to travel." It was a matter-of-fact statement, in typical Parker fashion. He tried to ignore her, stepping to the side, but suddenly something leather was shoved in his face. A second later, he realized it was his wallet, with his I.D. for 'Jesse Cameron.'

He snatched for the wallet, but Parker whipped it away just in time.

"Give that to me." He pinned her with a nasty glare. There was _no_ time for this nonsense - they had no idea what was at stake here.

As he reached for her hand again, she passed the wallet to Hardison. "Who's this then—" Hardison's face dropped as he saw the name. "I didn't make this alias."

The hacker wasn't nearly as fast as the thief, so Eliot grabbed his wallet back and stormed out the front of the bar. It didn't take a professional hitter to know he had a tail - two tails, actually.

"Hey Eliot!" Parker's perky voice only exasperated his mood. "Where are you going?"

"I'm working. Stay out of it."

"Are you stealing something? 'Cause I wanna help. Hardison too, right, Hardison?"

Hardison picked up his pace and caught up to Eliot. "Hey man, I know you do stuff on the side, but I didn't know you had other aliases. What's going on?"

"Right, Eliot, what he means to ask is if we can come with you."

Eliot growled as he reached his bike. "You're not coming, and that's final."

Parker pouted, before brightening up. "Yes we are, or I'm telling Nate."

Jaw clenching, Eliot glared at her. " _What."_

"You know Nate's rule - no outside jobs. We know you're going on a job, so if you don't take us with you, we'll tell Nate and you'll get in trouble."

Eliot stared her down, but the crazy thief seemed completely unaffected. When he glanced over at Hardison, he saw the hacker grinning at him with that stupid look on his face. He wasn't going to win this battle. With a sigh, he relented. "You can come along as long as you stay out of museums, major landmarks, public transportation, and anywhere else where you might get into trouble."

Parker squealed and ran off, calling something over her shoulder about packing. Hardison held out his hand for a handshake, but Eliot was in no mood for this.

"Don't leave me hangin', man!"

Eliot ignored him as he stormed toward his car.

* * *

Hardison directed his character aimlessly around the Blasted Lands, finding himself bored even with his beloved World of Warcraft. They had been in this hotel room for hours with little to do, and Hardison had already exhausted his favorite movies. When Parker blackmailed Eliot into taking them along, sitting in a hotel was not what Hardison had in mind. He doubted it was what Parker wanted, either.

One glance to the other bed confirmed his suspicions: Parker was a mess. Unable to sit still, she rolled and moved and adjusted every minute or so. Locks and picks were scattered all across the bed, as were wrappers for various candy bars.

After another minute of his game, Hardison shut it off and scooted to the edge of his bed. They needed an outing, and Eliot hadn't actually confined them to the _room_. He just said to stay away from museums, landmarks, and basically anything interesting. Still, they might be able to find somewhere worth visiting.

"So Parker, we've got an afternoon to spend. Where do you wanna go?"

That got her perked up. "Museum!"

He was worried about that. "Eliot said no museums."

Her face fell, but she nodded. "Right. And Eliot won't take us on any more field trips if we get tangled up in his job."

"Not to mention he'll break our fingers if we get in trouble and he has to bail us out." Hardison shuddered at the threat still hanging in his mind. "So, what's plan B?"

Hardison gazed longingly at the GameStop they had passed on their way to the food court. Happy as he was to have food in his stomach, they would definitely have to stop in there after lunch. The mall hadn't been his first choice or Parker's, but at least they were unlikely to find trouble here.

"Hardison, I've seen that guy five times today."

That is, if Parker stopped looking for it. "Of _course_ we've seen the same guy. People don't come to a mall for ten minutes. We've been here at least as long as he has, right? Or you wouldn't have seen him."

She just glowered at him, convinced something fishy was going on. Pointedly, she stuffed an entire handful of fries in her mouth. "I still think he's following us."

Hardison rolled his eyes and took a bite of his burger.

An hour later, Parker jabbed her elbow into his side yet again as they passed a bulky man with a buzzcut, dark clothes, and a shifty look. Hardison was doing his best to avoid trouble but that girl was just determined to pull them in.

Unfortunately, it was working. There _had_ been three strange-looking guys hanging around a nondescript pottery store all day, and Hardison was starting to get as curious as Parker. At first, he had tried to draw her away from that particular store, but he had finally relented and agreed to go inside.

Sure enough, there were lots of shady looking people hanging around. Hardison felt eyes on his back the whole time, and when Parker finally agreed to head back out, he hastily made his way toward the exit. One particularly burly man shifted into Hardison's way, and he found himself chattering nervously.

"Hey, man. We're, uh, we're just lookin' at these—" he picked up a random, surprisingly heavy vase nearby, "very fine, uh, pottery… things." The man narrowed his eyes. "And… uh…" He set the vase down and took a couple of steps to the side. "I can see you are into working out… that's cool, that's cool… I'm just gonna make my way over to…"

Another man stepped in Hardison's way and Hardison felt an involuntary shiver run through his body.

"You guys together? Okay, okay, we don' wanna get in your way, so we'll just move over there…". Hardison backed away, pulling Parker with him, and they moved to walk around the scary men with muscles.

"Two exits," Parker hissed in his ear. "Front door, air vent in the back room. Door behind you."

Hardison moved to glance over his shoulder and Parker jerked him forward. A third man stepped between Hardison and the front door, and his breath caught in his throat. This was a terrible idea - why had he let Parker drag him into this place? Eliot was going to be so mad…

It only took Parker a split second to bolt for the back room. Hardison dashed after her, throwing pottery off the shelves in an attempt to slow down the men who were now chasing after them. He crashed into the back room and had barely turned around before Parker jammed a chair under the doorknob to hold them off for just a couple of minutes.

Parker's expert fingers loosened the air vent and she was halfway up into it when she noticed Hardison scratching the back of his neck and staring at the door with wide eyes. "Come on! We need to get going!"

Hardison drew closer to Parker, dreading what he had to say. "I'm not going to fit." It was just a mall, not an industrial building. The air vent was barely big enough for Parker, but there was no way Hardison's shoulders were going to fit.

He was trapped.

* * *

Now nestled comfortably in the air vent, Parker felt her blood freeze at Hardison's words.

"I don't think I'm going to make it out.

Parker promptly popped out of the vent and back into the room. She wasn't going to leave Hardison behind, that was for sure. "Then I'm not going either. We'll figure this out."

Hardison shook his head as the door rattled ominously. "Listen to me, Parker. You have to go and call Eliot. I can't get out, but if we _both_ get caught, he won't have any way to come and find us."

"But I don't—"

He grabbed her shoulders and held her eyes with his own. Parker felt her nervous energy suddenly put in check because of his focus. "I have my comm in, I always do. Go, get help, and track me down. I trust you, Parker. You can do this."

"I can't leave you behind!"

"I'll be okay as long as I know you're safe." Fists pounded on the door outside and it rattled again, louder this time. "Please, Parker. I can't handle both of us getting caught."

Parker felt herself beginning to fidget again, but Hardison squeezed her shoulders before letting her go and pushing her gently toward the vent. "Go."

Parker suddenly found herself feeling cold and clammy, and there was this weird sensation of heaviness in her chest. It was as if she physically didn't want to go. Unfortunately, she couldn't say 'no' to Hardison, and he made too good of an argument.

Almost as if she were watching someone else move her body for her, Parker felt the cold metal against her hands and the dust falling into her hair as she jumped back up into the vent. Silently, she slid through the vent with practiced ease.

Just behind her, the door banged open. Parker squeezed her eyes shut, dreading what they would do to Hardison, and just barely making out voices as she crawled away.

"Yo, man, I thought this was the bathroom, you know, I was just looking to use the bathroom…"

"Where's the girl?"

"She left, out the front, you know, the front door…and stuff… She's a lady, man, why would she want to come in the bathroom while a man's doin' his business?" Hardison's accent grew more and more pronounced as his worry grew, and it took all of Parker's willpower to keep going and leave him in the hands of those guys.

She was the one who dragged him into it in the first place.

"I see this isn't the bathroom, so I'm just gonna make my way out now. You gentlemen have a nice day…"

"No." The deep voice was unfamiliar, and filled with a finality that chilled her to the bone. She had to call Eliot, _now_ , because she couldn't stand leaving Hardison in there.

As sounds of a struggle reached her ears, Parker felt her throat close up and her vision started to blur. Every inch she traveled carried her away, and even though her thief instincts told her to avoid trouble at all costs, that was _Hardison_ back there. He was about the closest thing to family she had right now, and after all the people that had left her, she felt like trash for leaving him.

The only consolation was that Eliot was just a phone call away, and as soon as she couldn't hear Hardison and the creeps anymore, she would be safe to make that call.

Eliot would be here soon.

* * *

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Eliot held perfectly still, peering through his binoculars at a secluded cabin in the woods. This was one of Chapman's safe houses, and Eliot had it on good authority that he would be in town soon. He had… _arranged_ for Chapman to require the use of a safe house, so it was only a matter of days before he showed up.

Ironic that Chapman's 'safe house' was actually the most dangerous place for him at the moment.

As it stood, Eliot was on stakeout, waiting for his target to arrive. He had already disabled nearly all of the safety measures on the house so he could get in once Chapman arrived. He had been camping here for hours because his contact hadn't specified _when_ Chapman might be arriving, so he had to make sure he was here when that happened. In fact, Eliot was actually looking forward to sleeping in the woods. It had been a long time.

Eliot was so attuned to his surroundings and paying such careful attention to any sounds or changes that the buzzing of his phone in his pocket nearly made him jump. If Parker and Hardison hadn't come along, he wouldn't have even had his phone with him, but just in case something happened, he needed a way to contact them.

If they were calling now because they were in trouble, he was going to make absolutely sure they wholeheartedly regretted this trip. He did _not_ have time for their crap right now.

He flipped the phone open and held it to his ear, hissing, "What?"

"They took him. There wasn't any way for him to escape and I just let him get taken…"

"You better not be telling me Hardison got kidnapped."

"It wasn't his fault! We went to a mall and everything, really, we tried to stay out of trouble but there it was! They got suspicious and we tried to get away but he was trapped and I took the air vent and—"

" _Parker!_ " Eliot felt his temper steadily rising as she rattled on nonsensically. "I don't care _what_ happened; I told you to stay out of trouble and _you got Hardison kidnapped?!_ "

She sniffed on the other end, and suddenly he realized how scared she was.

"Parker, talk to me." His jaw was clenched so tightly his teeth hurt, but at least he wasn't snarling anymore. "Tell me _exactly_ what happened."

"Some suspicious-looking big muscly guys were standing around a store, and Hardison and I went in and they chased us to the back room…" He could hear her choke, and her voice shook with the next words. "I got out through the air vent but he was too big and they got him."

"Does he have his comm?" That was the most important thing. If they could communicate, this rescue would be much easier.

"Yeah, he always has it. Does that mean he's going to be okay?"

Eliot pressed his lips into a thin line. No, it was no guarantee, but at least they had some hope. His own comm was back at his car, which was ten minutes away. "Do you have yours?"

There was a small pause, and then a weak voice saying, "No. I left it at the hotel."

"How far is the hotel from where you are?"

"…20 minutes."

Eliot cursed softly as he lifted himself from his position on the ground. After three hours of not moving, he felt a bit stiff. "I'll get mine and talk to him. You get back there as soon as you possibly can, and don't hang up the phone."

"Is he going to be okay?" Her voice sounded small and worried, and he sighed.

"I'm a retrieval specialist, Parker. That includes people. I'm gonna do my best, but I can't make any promises."

* * *

Hardison couldn't help but think back to his first job with Team Leverage as the thugs behind him slammed his head onto the car. Fighting the urge to turn and growl at them like Eliot would, Hardison slid inside. Before the iron grip of fear could take hold, Hardison redirected his mind to that first day, watching as Eliot beat up four guys before his duffel bag even hit the floor. Sure, there were more than that now, but he knew Parker wouldn't waste any time contacting Eliot and then he would show up and beat the tar out of these punks and Hardison could go back to his over-watched Netflix queue…

"Hardison."

Surprised at the sharp voice in his ear, Hardison almost yelped. But now, because of the thugs in the car with him, he wasn't free to talk. Surely Eliot knew that, so Hardison remained silent.

"Don't say anything 'cause they'll be suspicious, but clear your throat for yes and cough for no. Got it?"

Hardison carefully, softly cleared his throat.

"Good. First, you should know that Parker isn't going to have her comm for a while so you need to talk through me." Eliot was silent for a long time, and Hardison began to wonder if he was supposed to respond. "Second…" His voice was much quieter this time, and not nearly so confident. "You need to be aware that I'm probably not going to make it there in time."

Hardison stiffened and a chill passed through his whole body. He was dying to interrogate him - ' _What is that supposed to mean? Are you just gonna_ leave _me here? I can't die in this place…_ ' - but he couldn't, not with the thugs in the car.

Eliot kept going. "I'm two hours out, and I'm comin' as fast as I can, but I know guys like this and they don't usually keep hostages for that long. At the very least you'll be impossible to find." His voice was growing steadier now, as if he were falling into familiar territory. Hardison didn't want to ask how Eliot knew this, but he _really_ wanted to know why the man felt the need to crush his spirit and fill him with despair when there was absolutely nothing he could do about it.

He kept his mouth shut.

"So what I'm gonna do is direct Parker, and she's gonna have to be the one to make this happen. And third… _dammit, Hardison!_ " The sudden change in tone made Hardison jump. Eliot wasn't yelling so much as snarling at him, but the intensity behind his voice made the hacker recoil. "I _told_ you to stay out of trouble, and not only do you get yourself into a very deadly situation, but you ruined my job as well! If we walk away from this it'll be a miracle, not to mention my 'time off' and the very important work I was supposed to be gettin' done. _What on earth_ made you think that was gonna be okay?!"

Hardison didn't respond, _couldn't_ respond without getting himself in trouble. But the fury in his ear was making it really difficult to stay still. He had to say something, he just had to make sure it wasn't suspicious. "I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to be there. It was the wrong place at the wrong time - I wasn't lookin' for any sort o' trouble."

The thug in the front seat sneered at him. "Sure, heard that before. Save your breath."

A bitter laugh echoed in his ear. "You owe me _big time_ for this, Hardison, and I ain't gonna forget it." A resigned sigh followed, and the hitter's gruff voice came back, now almost devoid of emotion. "Our best option for trackin' you's gonna be finding your comm. Parker's got your laptop, but there's no way she's gonna get into that thing herself without the password, right?"

Hardison cleared his throat again.

"'Kay. Here's how this is gonna work: make a sentence those guys aren't gonna suspect. The first letter of each word is a letter in your password, and say 'uh' before the capitals. Got it?"

Hardison coughed. "That's a large _number_ of trees outside."

"Right. For numbers, click your tongue softly however high the number is. Got it now?"

Hardison cleared his throat, purposefully this time. As much as he hated giving away his password, and would definitely have to change it on everything after this, he didn't hesitate because it was the only way they could find him. The problem was it was really complex, and it would be a pain to convey in code.

He began by clicking his tongue for times in quick succession. "Cows everywhere, uh, but where is the…house? Uh, under, uh, the, uh, loft?" He clicked his tongue four more times, suddenly less sure of himself. It all sounded like gibberish. "That's weird."

The man in the front seat cut in. "Shut up. Ain't you ever seen farm country before?"

Actually, he hadn't. The whole 'country boy' thing was Eliot's shtick, and he was perfectly satisfied in the concrete, glass, and electrical maze of the city. Lots more stuff to hack.

A few seconds of silence, and Hardison heard Eliot's voice again. "Okay, man, I think I got it. The number 4, C-E-capital-B-W-I-T-H-capital-U-capital-T-capital-L-number-4-T-W. That right?"

Hardison drew it out in his mind: 4ceBwithUTL4tw. That was correct, so he cleared his throat.

Eliot was back in his ear. "Crazy password, man. How in the world do you remember that whole thing?"

It had to be rhetorical, because Hardison couldn't really answer, but Hardison blushed a little anyway. It looked nonsensical, but that was on purpose. Harder to guess. He was just happy the other two weren't nerdy enough to figure out that it was a stylized version of 'Force be with you' and 'Team Leverage for the win.'

"Hang in there, man." It was the most comforting Eliot had been all day. "Just hang tight - we're gonna get you out of there."

Hardison grabbed onto those words with everything he had.

* * *

Parker didn't bother parking properly in the hotel lot and dashed inside. A minute later, she crashed into the room, shoved her comm in her ear, and tore Hardison's bag apart. His laptop had to be in there somewhere. When all of his clothes were strewn around on the floor and there was no laptop in sight, she surveyed the rest of the room. Sure enough, it was on the nightstand, making her feel a little bit sheepish. Of course he had been using it.

Flopping onto her bed, she pulled open the lid. The blue screen greeted her, with the password bar mocking her pathetic attempt at hacking. Thank goodness she had the key. "Eliot, will you give me the password again?"

"Sure. 4ceBwithUTL4tw."

Parker tapped it in and like magic, the laptop displayed the desktop. "Okay, I'm in. How do I find where the comm is?"

After a minute, Hardison's voice came through. "You know, you guys should really pay more attentions to the corners of this vehicle. There's so much dust in there I just don' know…"

"Corners. Got it." Parker stared carefully at the corner icons. The bottom right corner was empty. The top right was a folder, simply labelled "photos." As much as she would like to poke around in there, she wasn't in the mood for games. Hardison's life was on the line here.

The top left corner had a program called "Codex," whatever that was, and the bottom left said "Communications." She double clicked on that one.

Immediately, her screen was mostly black with six large volume input bars, labelled on the left side: Nate, Sophie, Eliot, Parker, Hardison, Base. Nate's and Sophie's were completely flat, Hardison's was moving just slightly, and Eliot's was reading lots of volume because he was trying to interrogate her on her progress. She ignored him.

"Okay, I'm looking at the volume input for the coms, but there are a lot of symbols and I don't know how to find the physical location of one."

Eliot growled in her ear. "Hardison can't talk you through it, he's barely getting anything through as it is. Figure it out!"

Taking a deep breath - because she knew deep breaths helped keep people calm in any situation - Parker looked carefully at the buttons under each of the names. The first looked a bit like a megaphone, so she clicked on it just to see what it would do. A 'slash' appeared through it and suddenly Eliot's words were silenced. Another click and he was back. Sadly.

The next button was just a filled-in circle. When she clicked on that, a red button started to flash on screen. It looked enough like the one on the cable box that indicated a show was being recorded for her to recognize it. Geeks tended to use the same symbols, but it couldn't hurt to ask. "Hey Hardison, does this flashing red symbol mean it's recording?"

He cleared his throat, so she turned it off.

There were only two more buttons: one was the infinity symbol, and the other was a triangle. She clicked on the triangle, and grinned triumphantly as a map popped up on the screen. There was a flashing red dot, but it was really far away. Unfortunately, she had been playing with Eliot's comm, so the dot marked him instead of Hardison.

Remembering Hardison's rudimentary computer lessons, she searched for an "X" in the upper corner. As soon as the volume meters were back, she clicked on the triangle under Hardison's name.

The map popped up as before, but the red dot was moving along one of the teal threads that Parker assumed must be roads. "Eliot, I found his comm, but he's moving. It won't do us much good until we know where he's going to stop."

"Hang onto the laptop and get back to the mall as soon as you can."

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Hardison sighed with relief when he heard Parker's voice confirming that they knew where he was. What _didn't_ make him feel better was the fact that he had been on the road for 20 minutes, and Parker was at least that far - if not farther - behind. He didn't even want to think about Eliot being an hour and a half away.

He was dying to ask what the plan was, how Eliot planned to get him out of this mess, and what in the world he was supposed to do to keep them from killing him as soon as they found somewhere to dump his body. But he couldn't ask anything. He couldn't _say_ anything without drawing attention. All he could do was hope Eliot would keep him in the loop, but the hitter didn't seem too keen on that idea.

Even Parker had fallen silent.

Finally, a few minutes later, Eliot's voice reached his ear like a glass of cool water on a parched throat. "Hardison, I need you to tell me what's going on. What do you see? How many guys are there? What can I use?"

Hardison swallowed carefully, feeling sweat breaking out across his forehead and pouring down his sides. This wasn't his area of expertise. He'd been trying so far, but now he really needed to convey a lot of information without arousing suspicion. What if he oversold it and got himself _deeper_ \- as usual? How would the others rescue him then? He had to hold on as long as he could.

The problem was he couldn't answer any of Eliot's questions until they stopped. He could describe what they're passing, but Parker already knew where he was so that was redundant. He had no idea how many guys there were or where they would hold him, so he had nothing.

"Hardison!"

Here goes nothing. "Long, uh, long drive. Where we goin'?"

"Alright, I get it. Just give me whatever you can as soon as possible."

The guards in the front seat just glared.

After another ten minutes or so in silence, the car pulled to a stop in front of a warehouse. Presumably empty, and what was it with bad guys and empty warehouses? This was why he liked electronic crime - no weird, cliche locations, no scary guys with guns, and definitely none of this talking-his-way-out-of-death crap. Give him a computer any day.

As a thug with a mustache pulled him out of the car and into the metal building, Hardison chuckled nervously. "Pretty cheesy, runnin' your criminal enterprises out of a warehouse. Between the…" he glanced around quickly, " _nine_ of you, you couldn't think of a better place to store your drugs?"

"Nice." Hardison stiffened at the praise from Eliot, and barely kept a smile off his face. The hitter was usually not very encouraging, so Hardison soaked it in.

He was on a roll now. "Hey, man, no need to be so rough. My hands are all zip-tied up now, see? What - metal chair? You're tyin' me to a chair? Really? Did you all go to 'cheesy 90's villain school' or somethin'?" He snorted even as they forced him roughly into the seat, situated in the middle of the room. "There ain't even any natural lighting in here. Put some windows in, brotha'. I mean, you got two garage-size doors and not even a skylight!"

"Shut up!" The muscle handling him slapped his face so hard Hardison's head whipped around painfully. "Chattering on and on like some nervous wreck. Just _shut up,_ will ya?" Shaking his head, he retreated to a corner where several of the others were gathered.

Now that the bad guys were sufficiently far away, Hardison whispered, "That what you needed, Eliot? 'Cause they're getting pretty unhappy with me and I'd rather not press my luck."

"I can work with that. Don't worry, Hardison. Just keep your head down for now and I'll do what I can."

Those words were supposed to be reassuring, but Hardison couldn't help but worry. After all, there wasn't much Eliot _could_ do, with the distance between them. Nine guys would be doable for their hitter if controlled properly, but with just Parker…

Hardison forced himself to study his surroundings to fight off the weight settling in his stomach.

* * *

Eliot closed his eyes for a minute and sighed before gluing them to the road again. This wasn't looking good, not at all. Drug runners were generally reckless, especially with idiots like Hardison who had no leverage. They'd probably just put him in the ground 'cause it was easiest. He wasn't a hostage, he didn't have info, and he wasn't anyone worth preserving…

Out of pure frustration and helplessness, Eliot slammed his hands against the wheel. They'd kill the hacker for no good reason at all, and there wasn't a darn thing he could do about it.

That is, except walk Parker through a rescue even he would normally have trouble with. Of all his team members, he trusted the plucky thief to pull it off best, but it went against every instinct that said _keep the team out of danger._ At the moment, though, he could either let Hardison die for sure, or send Parker in hoping to rescue him, risking her own life in the process.

…Cruel choice indeed.

"Hey Parker, how close are you to the mall?"

"Just a couple of minutes. Do you want me to steal something?"

He wished. At least he knew there was no way she'd fail at that. Still, he didn't have much of a choice. He was the expert here, and even though he was too far away to do much, he had to show confidence or Hardison would break down and blow the rescue, and then it really would be over.

"Listen, Parker. We're gonna have to play this carefully, but if all goes well, we can spook these guys off without havin' to fight 'em all. When you get to the mall, I want you to stay out of sight of anyone associated with that pottery store, got it?"

"Aye aye, Sparky!"

Eliot just rolled his eyes and growled. "Hardison, I know you're not gonna like this, but you've gotta trust I know what I'm doin'."

"Sure, man. Whatever you say." Hardison's frantic whisper chilled him more than any threat he had ever received. Eliot's knuckles gripped the steering wheel harder and he pushed the gas a little more.

"Tell 'em you work for Moreau, and he's ticked off at the intrusion into his territory. Nobody does business here without his say-so, and they're out of line."

" _What_?" Hardison's squeak was pretty unmanly, but Eliot forgave him for it, considering the circumstances. "I mean… Moreau's a bad dude, I don' want anything to do with him! Besides, we don't know anything about him!"

"Hardison. Just do it." It was a stern tone, one that left no room for argument. Moreau wasn't someone you messed with, but invoking his name would work wonders for scaring off petty criminals. Eliot would just have to clean up the mess later, when things weren't so urgent.

"…Okay." Hardison took a deep breath and then dropped the whisper. Eliot winced as the shout came loudly through the earbud. "Hey, you! Get over here, I gotta tell you somethin'!" There was a pause before he started again, at a normal volume this time. "Ya'll are idiots, you know that? Not even checkin' who you're kidnappin', what kinda moron does that?"

There was a little silence, and Eliot assumed the thugs were responding to Hardison's insults.

"Damien Moreau." His overly smug tone betrayed his lack of confidence, but Eliot hoped the others didn't pick up on that. Most standard muscle weren't that perceptive, and knew three things: orders, money, and violence. And, of course, to stay _far_ away from Moreau, if they had any sense of self-preservation.

There was a much longer silence this time, before Hardison finally came back. "Yeah, you just go and chew on _that._ If you know what's good for you, you'll…"

His voice trailed off and Eliot immediately filled him in. "Let you go and run with your business before Moreau catches up to you."

As expected, Hardison repeated… with his own over-the-top embellishments. "Let me go and get yo'selves out of Dodge 'fore the Burning Legion descends on your heads."

Shaking his head, Eliot sighed. Classic Hardison.

Now it was time for the other part of his plan…

* * *

Parker stood in line at the food court, but didn't intend to buy anything. She was just blending in with the crowd until Eliot finished with Hardison enough to tell her what to do.

Finally, her name caught her attention. "Parker, you in position?"

"Yep."

"The first thing you're gonna need to do is get your hands on some low-grade, obvious surveillance equipment. Set it up around the store so they don't see _you,_ but I want them to find the equipment with just a cursory search. Can you do that?"

"Of course I can."

Parker slipped out of the line and joined a large, rowdy group of college students making their way down the hall until she reached a modern clothing store. She snagged a baseball cap and denim jacket and made her way out without paying for them. Nobody was around to scold her, so why not?

Once her disguise was in place, Parker headed to the nearest electronics store. They weren't likely to carry very much surveillance equipment, but she had to do her best. Hardison would be able to jerry rig any electronic thingy into doing something else, so that was just what she was going to do. And it didn't even have to _actually_ surveil anything, just look like it could.

In the camera section, Parker found several tiny cameras. Well, not _tiny_ tiny, but small. Palm-sized. Enough to make it look like they were being watched, right? She grabbed two.

Wires were a standard tech-y looking accessory, so Parker walked to the wire aisle. There were so many, but it would be better if one could plug into something. A wire doing nothing wouldn't have the same effect. After a bit of searching, she found some sort of battery that could be plugged into a USB cord, which plugged into a phone, so she lifted three batteries, several long USB cords, and a few cheap burn phones. That would look plenty suspicious.

Just for fun, she grabbed an extendable LED light wire thing.

Sure Hardison would be proud of her, Parker pranced out of the electronics store with her loot and moved toward the suspicious pottery shop. Within ten minutes, her makeshift surveillance equipment was strewn around in less-than-hidden places close to the pottery shop - just enough to make these guys nervous.

"Mission complete, HQ. Awaiting further instructions."

The annoyed growl from Eliot only made her smile. "Next you need to put the word out that people are looking for Hardison. Or, rather, Simon Gordon. Give his description, but don't drop his name very often. Ask or pay other people to spread the word also, so it ain't just you. We gotta make it seem like there are lots of Moreau's guys around, not just one."

"Will do, command."

As Parker skipped off toward her next objective, Hardison's whisper reached her ear. "Why Simon Gordon? 'Cause you know I can't back up that identity, right?"

Parker slowed as Eliot hesitated to respond. "Don't worry 'bout the details. The identity's fine, just use it."

Parker wanted to press the issue, but Eliot's clipped tone warned her the discussion was over.

The hum of the food court drew Parker in, and she set to work asking various people if they had seen 'Simon Gordon,' a man with Hardison's description. The various venders were her priorities, since they would be around later when the trap was sprung, but just for good measure she followed Eliot's instructions and got the word circulating among many different people.

After asking around most of the shops near the pottery store or sending others in to do her dirty work, Parker was satisfied with her work. If these kidnappers started looking, they'd all know someone was looking for Hardison.

"The package has been delivered."

"Parker, will you cut it out with the cheesy spy movie lines?" Eliot's nerves were wound tighter than usual, Parker noticed, but who cared? He wasn't the one she was worried about at the moment.

"Don't worry, Parker, _I_ appreciate them. Heaven knows I could use a bit of your humor right now." And if Hardison appreciated her jokes, she would darn well keep them coming. Even if it frustrated Eliot. But honestly, what _didn't_ frustrate that man?

"Cut the crap, you two. This is serious." That said, Eliot was _particularly_ unhappy today. Didn't he understand they didn't really mean to ruin his other job and almost get Hardison killed? He really couldn't blame them… it wasn't their fault…. "Parker, one last thing. Get a burn phone, find some half-conspicuous clothes, and be on call near the pottery store. I'll let you know when to move as soon as it's time."

"Affirmative, commander."

A few minutes later, she was in place: dress pants and heels (that would come off with a flick of her feet), professional looking blouse and purse, and another phone. All stolen. But really, who was worrying about Nate's rules right now? Hardison was in trouble! Not to mention being here at all was in violation of the rules, so a few more thefts were nothing to worry about. Hardison was all that mattered. And as soon as Eliot called, she would be ready.

She just hoped she would be able to pull everything off the way Eliot wanted.

* * *

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Hardison carefully eyed the collection of thugs across the room from him. Nine was a big number - too many for anyone but Eliot to handle. And with him still 40 minutes out, there was no way that was going to happen soon.

"Okay, Hardison, are there still nine of them?" Eliot's voice was his lifeline. It was going to get him out of here, and he just had to trust the hitter knew how to play mastermind. 'Cause Hardison sure didn't like playing grifter, and he liked playing hostage even less.

"Yeah, man, nine. What're you gonna do?"

"…Make a phone call." A few seconds later, Hardison heard a phone ringing through his comm. Presumably, Eliot held the phone to that ear so the others could hear it.

An unfamiliar voice came across the line. "Thank you for calling Auburntown Mall Pottery, what can I do for you today?"

"Hello, ma'am, my name's Isaiah Chapman and I'm callin' to ask 'bout a man named Simon Gordon. He's a black man o' average height, shoulda been there today. Ya seen 'im?"

Hardison cringed at the obnoxiously heavy drawl from Eliot, but kept silent because the phone might pick up the noise from the comm.

"Uh, let me check on that for you." After a minute of silence, she returned. "No, I'm sorry. No one here has seen Mr. Gordon."

"Thanks anyway. Ya have a nice day, ma'am." The phone clicked, and Eliot's voice went back to normal. "Alright, Hardison, that should set off the chain Parker set up. Do your best to keep me informed, and anytime some of the thugs leave, give me enough clicks to know how many are left. Can you do that?"

Over in the corner, Hardison could see one of his kidnappers talking on a phone, or rather, shouting into the phone.

"I think your plan's working, so I'm gonna shut up now. Don't wanna give it away."

Hardison watched as the guys started arguing, glancing over at him every few seconds. Finally, their voices grew loud enough that he could overhear.

"I ain't waiting for Moreau to show up and blow my brains out! You ain't paying me enough to justify that kind of risk."

"Yeah, not to mention that he's already found us!"

"Shut up, both of you!" The leader's shout silenced the two protestors, but their eyes reflected their fear. "You got in on this job and you're gonna finish it. You can't just walk away! And think about the payout. Do you really wanna give that up?"

One of the protestors shook his head. "A million dollars can't insure me against Moreau. I'm outta here." The other one followed him out.

Hardison barely stifled a smile and clicked his tongue seven times. Was this what Eliot had planned? Scare them off and break them up?

"Anyone else wanna—" The leader was cut off by his phone ringing, so he jerked it up to his ear and barked into it, "What?" Silence, and his face turned several shades of red, contrasting his white knuckles around the phone at his cheek. "I won't lose this operation. I _won't_!"

He slammed the phone shut and shoved it in his pocket.

"What's wrong, boss?" one asked timidly.

"Surveillance equipment. We've been watched for who knows how long, and David don't know how long it'll be 'till we're busted."

The timid one glanced at another, who nodded his head slightly. "Then my bro and I are out. I'm no fool, and only an idiot would stick around to face Moreau's wrath when this whole op gets blown to smithereens. Nope, we're history." With that, two more left, and Hardison gave the five happiest tongue clicks of his life.

Several minutes later, though, he began to fear they would end up dealing with five after all.

Eliot's voice caused him to jump. "Parker, I want you to wander close enough to the pottery place to be overheard, and pretend to talk to someone on the phone. I'll feed you words."

"Ten-four."

Hardison found himself grinning, despite the situation. That girl knew how to lighten a tense situation, even if she _was_ a little crazy.

"I'm here now, when is your ETA?"

Parker repeated Eliot's line. "I'm here now, when's your ETA?"

Eliot remained silent for a minute before saying, "Okay, meet me there at 4:25. Send the others around back to cut off the escape route."

Dutifully, Parker said all of her words again.

"Good, now hang up."

"Good, now—"

" _Parker_! Don't repeat that, just do it."

She giggled nervously. "Sorry, officer. Won't happen again. Can you let me off the hook this time?"

Eliot didn't even bother responding.

A minute later, Hardison saw the results. The leader called all of his men together again, and directed three of them to retrieve the merchandise now, no matter what it took. If they didn't hurry, they'd lose it all.

When there were just two left, Hardison clicked twice.

They could handle two.

* * *

Parker quickly slipped away from the pottery shop. They were agitated now, all on edge from her sabotaging. It was a job well done, and she was proud of it, but now she needed to get out or risk getting caught herself.

"Guys, I'm still half an hour out." If Parker didn't know better, she'd think Eliot sounded more exasperated than angry this time. "Parker, this is the last thing I want to ask you to do, but we have to get Hardison out _now_ before they can get back with the merchandise. Do you think you can slip in, free him, and get him out, preferably without attracting the attention of professional muscle?"

"Consider it done." Abandoning stealth at this point, Parker bolted for her car. The restricting professional clothes held her back, so she kicked the heels off and took a minute - just a minute - to snag some tennis shoes to protect her feet and allow her to run wherever she needed to. She sprinted the rest of the way to her car, jumped in the driver's seat, and squealed out of the parking lot.

During what felt like an interminable drive, Parker went over Hardison's information about the warehouse again. Empty, no windows, no skylight. Just the two main doors. He was zip tied down, so she was going to need some way to cut him free. And she was going to need to know where exactly he was in the room. Time for 20 questions.

"Hardison, are you in the middle of the warehouse?"

He cleared his throat.

"Ooh, got it in one! Is there a lot of clutter around for cover, or is it _empty_ empty?"

A sigh reminded her she had broken the rules.

"Whoops, sorry. Scratch that last part - is it cluttered?" A cough - that was bad. No cover and no good entrances meant stealth was looking less and less viable. "Do they have guns?"

Another cleared throat.

Eliot groaned. Parker could only imagine how much this must be driving him crazy, knowing he couldn't protect either of them if things went badly at this warehouse. He would never forgive himself if anything happened, so she would just have to make sure it all turned out okay.

After ruining his job, she owed him at least that much.

Her eyes wandered over to her glove box, which currently held her taser. It was the only weapon she had on hand, and if there weren't a lot of clutter, she doubted there would be much in the way of improvised weapons. She would have to pull this off just perfectly.

Finally, Parker made it to the warehouse. Leaving her car haphazardly two blocks down, Parker approached it on foot. "Hardison, do you know which compass direction you're facing?"

Cough.

"Is there anything distinctive about one of the doors?"

Clearing throat.

"Is one bigger than the other?"

Another clear. That was perfect - in relation to the doors, Hardison could tell her where the two guys were. "Are the two kidnappers together?"

Clearing throat.

"Close to a door?"

This time a whisper - "My throat's all dry. Yeah, they're by the big door, talking softly. Off guard, I think."

"Good. Here's the plan: I'll come in through the big door, use my taser on them, and run over to cut you free."

Eliot growled. "No way, Parker! Come in the small door, cut him free, and book it. Don't waste time fighting those guys. They know what they're doin', don't go anywhere near 'em. How are you supposed to take _two_ of them?"

Parker had a feeling he would object to just about anything she suggested, seeing it as too dangerous, but she also knew her plan was how he would do it. "They have guns. This warehouse is big and empty enough that we wouldn't make it out without getting shot unless they are out of commission."

"But—"

"Eliot, I'm doing this. Don't worry — I'll keep Hardison safe."

"That's my job, not yours…"

"It is now." Before he could make another protest, Parker yanked open the door and rushed inside. Her fully charged taser met the neck of the guy closest to her and he dropped almost immediately.

The other one backed up and reached for his gun, but Parker threw herself at him. He reacted just quickly enough to throw her taser off, but her weight threw him off balance and he crashed to the ground. Half a second later, he was throwing her off and reaching for the taser in her hand.

Thank goodness for her speed.

She darted out of his way, dodged another reach, circled behind him, and launched herself at his back before he could get his hands on his gun again. As soon as her taser connected, he yowled in pain. Holding it steady against him, she waited until he stopped moving, and then zapped the other one again just for good measure.

 _Nobody_ kidnapped Hardison and got away with it.

Once the kidnappers were unconscious, Parker raced over to Hardison. Her eyes widened at the way his sweat had drenched his shirt and the look of exhaustion on his face. Even before she cut him loose, she decided he needed a hug and wrapped her arms around him.

Much to her surprise, he lowered his chin to her shoulder. "Thank you. Thank you so much… I thought I was a goner, but there you were all jumpin' and dartin' back and forth, taking those guys down like a _boss_ …"

"Hey!" Eliot's voice interrupted their moment. "Everyone okay? What happened?"

"We're okay! The guys are out, Parker's here, she's cutting me free now—" Parker jerked to do just that at the purposeful look he gave her "—and we're about to head for her car to _get out of here_!"

"Well, cut the emotional crap and let's _go_! I don't want you guys there a second longer than you have to. These are some bad people to mess with…"

"Don't worry about it, cap'n." Parker sliced through the last of the zip ties on Hardison's feet, and he stood and stretched. "On our way out now."

Hardison put his arm around her shoulder, and she didn't brush it off as they walked for the door. Just as they were stepping over the unconscious thugs, Hardison paused to give each of them a bloody nose. Parker gave him a little smile, and he just shrugged and put his arm around her shoulder again.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Eliot was pulling into the hotel he had left Hardison and Parker in. As much as he was relieved they were unharmed, he was _ticked off_ that they had ruined his job. Nate expected him back tomorrow afternoon, and if he had missed Chapman during the four hours he'd been gone, it would all be for nothing anyway.

He really wished he had put a bullet in the real Simon Gordon, because as soon as Moreau found his missing man, there was a good chance he would recognize Eliot's very distinctive execution style and know Eliot was onto him. Then it would be so much harder to get another chance like this.

By the time Eliot made it to the room, his relief had almost completely melted under the weight of his anger. He stopped at the door abruptly, suddenly aware he didn't have a keycard. He banged on the door instead. "Get this door open!"

It didn't take more than a couple of seconds for his demand to be obeyed, and there was Hardison's sheepish smile as he stepped into the room. "Hey, man, nice of you to finally get here."

Eliot froze, lip curling into a sneer. Turning ever so slowly lest he completely lose control and throw Hardison into the wall, he faced his friend and pinned him with one of his nastiest glares. "Say that again and see what happens."

Hardison's eyes went really wide and he pinched his mouth shut, pulling his hand up to it and leaning awkwardly on the wall in a half-relaxed and very guilty posture. "I just meant… uh…"

"Eliot!" Behind him, he could hear the bed squeak and groan as Parker leapt off of it. "We did it, see? I got Hardison un-kidnapped and we're not even hurt!"

Hardison mumbled "yeah" as he squeezed past the infuriated hitter and made his way back over to his bed and laptop.

Eliot crossed his arms and turned so they were both in his line of vision. "You're going home _right now._ "

Parker's face registered her shock. "What?"

"You've already gotten yourselves in enough trouble when I explicitly told you to stay _out_ of it. Now I'm going to have to try to salvage this trip, but I'm pretty sure it's beyond what I can recover. I didn't have time for this!"

Parker just smiled brightly. "We really didn't mean to get in trouble. We went to the mall, for goodness sake! Don't worry, we'll just stay here until your job is done and watch Hardison's boring movies again."

Hardison yelped, but quickly got control of herself. "Yeah man, we'll just watch these _fantastic_ and _creative_ and _cool_ movies I have, and there won't be any more trouble. Promise."

"Yep, cross my heart." Parker made the motion. "And his." When Hardison didn't copy Parker's movement, she half-whispered, "Do it, Hardison. He won't believe we're really crossing our hearts if you don't do it."

Eliot frowned further. "I don't care if he does it or not."

Parker's face fell, and Hardison glanced at her guiltily. Eliot wanted to stay mad, he really did, but now that they were tag-teaming him, he didn't have the heart to say no. "Fine, then. But you don't even leave this room, got it? And be ready to fly out at 11:00 tomorrow morning." Without waiting for them to do something annoying like hug him or assault him with smiles and gratitude, he turned on his heel and strode out of the room.

If he were honest, he couldn't have lived with himself if something had happened today, and getting to scold them again was just so much nicer now that he knew he could have been returning to Nate and Sophie alone.

As the door shut behind him, he heard Hardison ask, " _Lord of the Rings_ or _Star Wars_?"

"Is _Lord of the Rings_ the one with the tiny people and scary horses?"

Hardison sighed in exasperation. "Yeah, Parker, it is."

"Then I want to watch the other one."

Eliot couldn't help but crack a smile as he walked out of hearing range. They might be reckless, accident-prone geeks, but they were _his_ geeks. Which was why he had to go back out and do everything he could to get his hands on Chapman before things could get any worse.

They were on borrowed time already.

* * *

The End


End file.
